In lieu of Sugar’s first birthday I thought I would write down some of what I felt during my FIRST year as a new mom.
This first year was exhilarating.
I wish I could say it was difficult and in ways..maybe it was? What is difficult for me may not be difficult for another mama and so when people often ask me “ Is it hard? Is it something you never expected?” My answer is no.
Yes, motherhood is exhausting and when you have a newborn who is nursing on demand and your husband doesn’t have an extra pair of boobs lying around you get pissed. Or when your beginning walker is starting to get into EVERYTHING and you cannot find a moment to sit down you can find yourself irritated and tired.
Yes moments are difficult but motherhood, to me, is not.
To me motherhood is a gift.
I feel so joyous when I think about his first year...the sweet moments of nursing, first holidays, our first trip to the Ranch and Beach, first smile, first giggle, first TOOTH, and first steps. It brings me so much happiness to know that God gifted me this wonderful baby to care for. I look forward to teaching J about Jesus and all of his wonderful works. He is already learning to clasp his chubby fat hands in prayer..although it turns into a clapping fest most of the time.
If he only knew how many times his mommy and daddy clasped their hands in prayer for him. Now that we have him, it is our turn to clasp our hands with him and THANK our God for the many blessings he has poured out over our family and for the ones to come.
I love watching those chubby fat hands..
He can hug my neck and give me a BIG open mouth kiss ( which I adore every SINGLE TIME)
I remember stumbling through the newborn stage and wondering “ Where the HELL did my boobs go? Shit where did I GO!” I felt like this tiny creature was literally taking over every single part of me ( which he was :)) and it felt foreign. The moment he would fall asleep on my chest, or curl his tiny fingers around mine left me a puddle of mush.
*I remember one time about two weeks in to the whole parenting gig. I was fast asleep and Jax started wailing.. like REALLY wailing and I jolted awake only to find my ENTIRE shirt wet. Of course that irritated me and I yelled at Brandon for spilling his drink on me.
Well he didn’t spill his drink on me.. the girls had leaked due to Jax’s newborn crying.*
oops.
Those were the days :)
Now he bangs his chubby fists against his high chair and puts them together meaning “ more”
and when he is done he no longer falls asleep on my chest but pushes all of the remaining food that I made him on the floor :)
Yes.
Thank God for the Dog.
We not only survived the first year together but we loved big and laughed hard. We played at bath time, worked out at stroller strides, snuggled, nursed, learned to clap, wave bye bye, blow a kiss, scream for “MAMA”, weaned from nursing, and pet wrangle the dog. We have had so much fun this first year and I know even MORE is in store for us in the many years to come.
I cannot wait to celebrate my Jax Holden this week and I thank God daily for providing me with my biggest blessing!!!!!!
